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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27274549">Come and See the Show</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer'>blue_pointer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Glorious Retelling [27]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambidextrous Grog, Angry!Grog, Angst, Arcane texting, Break Up, Canon Timeline, Comedy, Denial, Don't copy to another site, Drama, Emo Elf, Emotional Manipulation, Episode: c01e050 Best Laid Plans..., Explanations, Idiot brothers, Investigations, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Misunderstandings, POV Scanlan, POV Vex'ahlia (Critical Role), Rivalry, Scanlan god of mischief and mayhem, Scanlan's Marvelous Mansion, Temper Tantrums, Trolling, Twins, Vax is in denial, Vaxmore, Vex gets it, best sister in the world, bisexual disaster vax'ildan, shit-stirring, wondertwin powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:20:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27274549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Grog is recently revivified. Vax is insecure. And Scanlan is bored, and knows a potentially explosive secret...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Grog Strongjaw &amp; Vex'ahlia, Laura Bailey/Travis Willingham, Scanlan Shorthalt &amp; Grog Strongjaw, Shaun Gilmore/Grog Strongjaw, Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Vax'ildan &amp; Vex'ahlia (Critical Role)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Glorious Retelling [27]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Fuck Your House</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Scanlan is bored. So he tries to see if he can get Vax to kill Grog.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a long day’s march, and less than the usual lighthearted tomfoolery between the seven of them due to the fact they were all still recovering emotionally from Grog’s death. As the sun began to dip below the horizon, Scanlan produced his marvelous mansion and invited everyone to a sumptuous dinner of Chicken a la Chicken with a side of chicken, the servants’ specialty. </p><p>Even at the table, the quiet mood of the group seemed to persist, and that was no fun. But something that was always fun? Stirring up shit. And Scanlan had quite the shit to stir; he’d been saving it for just about as long as he possibly could. So full of stirrable shit was he, Scanlan was just about to burst. </p><p>But first, he waited for Grog to take a particularly large mouthful of chicken. “So, Grog,” Scanlan said. “I just happened to notice--not that I was spying on you or anything--but I was passing by your room the other night, when I happened to see you making out with Gilmore. I mean, I’m not judging or anything--we all have our own unique ways of blowing off steam, or relaxing after a long day--but just curious: what was <em> that </em>about?” </p><p>Vax’s face immediately fell into something resembling his trademark resting murder face. Mentally, Scanlan was rubbing his hands together with glee. This was going to be good! Grog opened his mouth (still full of food), trying to wrap his massive intellect around what Scanlan was saying. “Wha--you never said you could see our dreams in this place.” He glanced around the opulent mansion in wonder. “That’s pretty cool! Wait.” Grog closed his eyes, smiling. “What am I thinking right now?” </p><p>“Boobs,” Scanlan replied without hesitation. </p><p>Grog opened his eyes, his chickenful smile widening. “I was, too!” </p><p>“I know,” Scanlan replied humbly, waiting impatiently for Mount Vax to erupt. </p><p>“Hold on.” Vax held up one hand. “Are you telling me Grog dreams about Gilmore?” He squinted at Grog in disbelief, but Vax wasn’t quite angry, more perplexed. Scanlan knew how to fix that. </p><p>“Oh no. I’m telling you Grog was actually getting down and dirty with our very own Gilmore’s glorious goods in the basement last night--if you know what I mean. Saw it with my own two eyes.” All eyes were on Grog now: Vex: shocked, Percy: bewildered yet intrigued, Pike: smiling and excited for Grog, Keyleth: concerned yet supportive, and Vax: whose expression had gone--promisingly-- completely blank.</p><p>“Wha--” Grog started to get defensive. “He wasn’t here for real. It was just a dream.” </p><p>“Why were you dreaming of Gilmore, Grog?” Vax asked, his voice deathly quiet. </p><p>“E--” Grog shrugged, waving around his half-eaten chicken, trying to retcon everything. “Who said I was dreamin’ about Gilmore? I wasn’t dreamin’ about Gilmore. Why would I dream about Gilmore?”</p><p>“He’s right,” Scanlan said, much to Grog’s relief. “He wasn’t dreaming, it really happened.” </p><p>“Did not!” Grog protested, half-panicked, and still not understanding completely what was going on. </p><p>“Oh, it did. I assure you,” Scanlan said. Vax’s eyes met his down the table, and Scanlan glimpsed murder there. </p><p>“Look.” Grog put down his chicken, feeling the need to set the record heterosexual. “I like <em> women</em>, okay? Now, I admit that in some ways, Gilmore kinda looks like a lady at times BUT. I was recently told that is not a compliment and. Though you lot probably don’t think so, I CAN tell the difference!”</p><p>“Grog,” Vax said quietly, looking defeated. “There’s nothing wrong with liking men.” </p><p>Grog guffawed. “Says you, pretty boy.” </p><p>Vax stood up suddenly, causing his chair to tip over backwards. “Yes. I do.” And he stormed off. </p><p>Keyleth darted after him, trying to take Vax’s hand. “Hey, this could be just the answer we needed! Grog and Gilmore, right?” Scanlan watched them go until Vax abruptly disappeared into thin air. Keyleth glanced around, helpless, before giving up and walking away. </p><p>“Grog,” Vex’ahlia asked gently, touching Grog’s arm. “Is Scanlan telling the truth?” </p><p>“What? I always tell the truth!” Scanlan protested. </p><p>Vex ignored him. “Gilmore, he was really here?” </p><p>“That’s what I’m trying to tell you!” Grog said. “It was just a dream! I can’t help who kisses me in dreams! I’m handsome like that.” </p><p>“Yeah, you hated every minute of it,” Scanlan said, grinning into his wine. “I could tell.” </p><p>“Oi, shut up, Scanlan!” And now Grog rose from the table as well, tossing his chicken aside. “Who told you you could spy on my dreams, anyway?” </p><p>Scanlan shrugged. “It’s my house. My rules.”</p><p>“Awright, then FUCK your house!” Grog declared, striding toward the front door, taking his hammer and the bag of holding with him. </p><p>“Grog, wait!” Vex’ahlia chased after him. </p><p>“This is fascinating,” Percy said, looking at Scanlan as though he could work everything out by sight alone. Behind him, Pike was watching Scanlan, too. And she looked upset. </p><p>“Scanlan, why would you do that to Grog?” </p><p>“Do what?” Scanlan protested her rebuke. “I just asked a simple question. Why is everyone getting so upset?” </p><p>“I’m disappointed in you,” Pike said, and hopped down from her chair to walk upstairs. </p><p>“Pike, wait!” Scanlan had to chase after her, as her disapproval was one of few things he feared. </p><p>Finding himself alone at the table, Percy shrugged and took another serving of chicken. “No sense letting good food go to waste,” he muttered.</p><p>   </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Alone in one of the spare bedrooms, Vax took out his parchment. He only had one question. “Gilmore...were you here last night?”</p><p>
  <em> Were you missing me, Vax’ildan darling? You didn’t call, so I wanted to give you your space. </em>
</p><p>Vax closed his eyes, knowing the answer now. “Just answer my question, please.”</p><p>
  <em> Well, after Grog’s death, I wanted to make sure he was alright. </em>
</p><p>“Right.” Vax clenched his jaw. “Just so you know, the reason I didn’t talk to you last night was because I was with Keyleth. All night. I wasn’t planning to tell you, but I feel like you deserve it. And maybe I am a hypocrite, but I just don’t feel like talking to you right now. Maybe not for a while.” And without waiting for a response, Vax rolled up the paper and stowed it away. See how Gilmore liked that. </p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Gilmore sat back in shock. Vax might as well have slapped him across the face. “What?” He looked toward the window, his good mood dissipating.</p><p>A few moments later, Sherri came in with a tray of food. “Master Gilmore, what’s wrong?” </p><p>“I’m not feeling very hungry just now,” he told Sherri. “Just put it on the table.” </p><p>“Sir?” She stopped to look at him.</p><p>“I’m fine, Sherri. Just go. Please.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Choose your own adventure: <br/>If you want to see what happens with Gilmore, go <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27298495/chapters/66697024">here.</a><br/>If you want to read what happens next at the mansion, click "next chapter"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. But I'm a Creep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Now Grog is pissed at Scanlan. And Vax hates everything. <br/>Vex'ahlia to the rescue.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Vex followed Grog outside. Because if Gilmore really had been in the mansion last night, he could be useful to them. And if her brother had a rival for Gilmore’s affections, too, she needed to know. After that mess with Kashaw, she was taking no more chances. “Grog, I’m sure this is not what Scanlan meant to happen.”</p><p>“Fuck Scanlan!” Grog declared, punching a large rock embedded in the plain. “He’d better stop reading my mind. I know what consent means!”</p><p>“Yes, I’m sure you do, dear.” Vex stood opposite him, so he was forced to look at her. “Now, I think you can tell my brother’s very angry. But I don’t think he has need to be, does he?” </p><p>“No!” Grog said. “I’m not tryin’ to steal his manfriend.” </p><p>“There, you see? I knew it. This was all a silly misunderstanding. As usual, Scanlan was just having a bit of fun at our expense.” </p><p>“I could if I wanted to, though. And I did tell ‘im, if Vax doesn’t tell him how pretty he is, he’s a dummy.” </p><p>“Oh dear.” This sounded like a complication.</p><p>“In the dream, you understand,” Grog explained.</p><p>“Right. And why was Gilmore there in your dream again?” It was possible the truth lay somewhere between both Scanlan’s and Grog’s versions. Fortunately, investigation was like tracking, which meant Vex was good at it.</p><p>“Aw, he came to check on me after I died,” Grog said, fondly. “He’s thoughtful like that, dream Gilmore.” Grog nodded as if this made perfect sense. </p><p>“Yes, but I don’t understand when the snogging came in,” Vex said.</p><p>“Ah. Well, it was a dream, right? So I was curious.” He looked at her, guiltily. “Just in the dream. I’m not curious in real life.”</p><p>Why were men so fragile? “Riiiight. So what were you curious about?” </p><p>“His lips always look so soft,” Grog said, his voice suddenly going high.  </p><p>“Oh, no. Grog, you didn’t.” Not that she’d known Grog to be good at impulse control.</p><p>“It was just a dream!” </p><p>“Oh, Grog.” Poor Gilmore must have been very surprised.</p><p>“I let him go when he said consent.” </p><p>“He said consent?” she asked.</p><p>Grog nodded. “He said consent was important, even in dreams.” </p><p>“Well, I’m glad to know you understand that, Grog.” Vex would not have given him that much credit.</p><p>“Course I do! What do I look like, a barbarian?” the barbarian asked, insulted.</p><p>“Well…” That was a little on the nose.</p><p>“You know what I mean.” </p><p>“Alright.” Vex patted his arm. “Now don’t sleep out here alone, Grog. Just come back inside.” </p><p>“No. I’m tired of Scanlan spying on me.” It looked like he would need a little more encouragement.</p><p>“But Trinket will be so lonely without you.” Vex’ahlia pouted pathetically at him. </p><p>“Well…” She could see the crack in his resolve. “I don’t want Trinket to be lonely.” Then he got an idea. “He can sleep out here with me!”</p><p>Vex thought fast. “Oh, but he can’t, I’m afraid. You see, Trinket picked up a little cold in the Frostweald. He has to stay inside where he won’t get more sick.” </p><p>“I didn’t know bears can get colds,” Grog said. </p><p>She nodded. “I’m afraid so. He’s been so miserable, you know. I’m sure if you slept inside with him, he’d start to feel better.” </p><p>“Oh, alright. But just for Trinket. You tell Scanlan he can still shove his mansion up his hairy arse.” </p><p>“I promise.” She walked him back inside the mansion, taking Grog downstairs where she released Trinket, and fussed over both of them until Vex’ahlia was sure they would spend the night inside. </p><p>Then came the hard part: tracking down her brother. Fortunately, Vex had a bit of skill when it came to tracking. And her connection to her twin put her at advantage. It took less than an hour for her to find which room he was hiding in. The mansion had a lot of rooms, but few of them suited her brother’s mood and held enough shadow for him to hide in. “I know you’re here, brother,” Vex said, blocking the door with her body. “You may as well come out.”</p><p>“Go away,” came the muffled response from behind a cabinet in the corner. Vex marched over to it, glad he couldn’t throw his voice. </p><p>“Fine. I will. But you’re going to have to listen to what I have to say first.” She took his silence as permission to continue. “Now, I’ve spoken to Grog, and I think I’ve worked out what happened.” </p><p>“It’s fine if he wants to be with Grog,” Vax said, gloomy. “I want to be with Keyleth anyway.” </p><p>“Is that so?” It would be the first time he’d openly admitted it to her, if true.</p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“Then why are you hiding away here by yourself, thinking dark thoughts, and being pissy?” she asked.</p><p>“I’m not.” A clever argument from an idiot brother.</p><p>“Yes you are! Where is Keyleth if you want to be with her so much?” Vax logic was different from actual logic, in Vex’ahlia’s experience. </p><p>“I just want to be alone right now.” So in tune with his own emotions, this one.</p><p>“Why?” Good thing one of them was good at investigating.</p><p>“Because I didn’t know Gilmore was fucking Grog, okay? He made me think I was special. And I’m not. I always knew I wasn’t. He lied to me.” </p><p>Vex sat down next to the invisible ball of misery she spied wedged into the corner. “You idiot.” She mussed his hair. “Gilmore loves you.” </p><p>Vax just shrugged. “Apparently he loves Grog, too.” </p><p>“No he doesn’t.” At least, not in that way, it seemed.</p><p>“How do you know, smartypants? Scanlan just told us he saw them together.”</p><p>“Scanlan has a sick sense of humor. And I talked to Grog, if you must know.” </p><p>“I don’t want to hear it.” Vax stood up, starting to walk away. But Vex tripped him. And for once, Vax didn’t pass his acrobatics check. He went sprawling.</p><p>“You do want to hear it. Because guess what, brother? Grog said Gilmore taught him the word ‘consent’.” </p><p>“He wot?” Vax wasn’t getting it. He just looked annoyed to be sprawled out on the floor. </p><p>“Grog kissed him. Because he thought he was dreaming--nevermind the implications of that. But when he did, Gilmore said he hadn’t given consent.” </p><p>Back on his feet and ready to leave, Vax whirled to look at her. “Grog kissed Gilmore without his consent?” </p><p>“Yes. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” How lucky he was to have a smart sister.</p><p>A slow horror dawned on Vax’s face. “I just told Gilmore I didn’t want to talk to him anymore.” </p><p>Vex sighed, covering her eyes. “Just once, brother, would you think before you act?” </p><p>“I thought he was cheating on me with Grog!”</p><p>“What does it matter if it’s Grog or not?” she asked. “You’re cheating on him with Keyleth!”</p><p>“That’s different!” Vax said, defensive. “He said it was okay.” </p><p>Vex just stared at him. “Hold on. Let me see if I’ve got this right: You can be with Keyleth, but Gilmore can’t be with anyone else?”  </p><p>“I know it’s unfair, but he agreed!” </p><p>“Did he?” Considering her brother’s inability to talk about his feelings, she very much doubted that.</p><p>“He’s been helping me talk to Keyleth, so. I assumed yes!” Vax gestured, frustrated.</p><p>“Why does that mean he can’t see anyone else?” The miscommunication was clear as day, to Vex.</p><p>“I don’t know, because I don’t want him to! Because he makes me feel special and he’s mine!” </p><p>And people thought <em> she </em> was the greedy twin. Vex’ahlia let out a disgusted sigh. “You are such an arsehole.” She got to her feet and walked out. </p><p>“What?” Vax called after her. “I’m pretty sure he agreed!”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>After speaking to Vex’ahlia, Vax supposed he did owe Gilmore an apology. But he felt stupid calling Gilmore right back after just having said he didn’t want to talk to him. It was the best excuse Vax could come up with to maintain his dignity for a little longer. Really, any excuse would suffice not to have to do something so uncomfortable. So instead, Vax did what he was best at: he avoided it all together for as long as possible. </p>
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